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May 26, 2018

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Butt Trip: Unionville Nevada

October 7, 2015

 

In a previous article I described the requirements for what a butt trip is and how they are scored. I am a little worried about the butt trip to Unionville, Nevada, as it might be the highest scoring butt trip we go on this year and all of our future butt trips will be less butty than this one. We will have to see.

 

When I was reading about things to do in Winnemucca I found out that there were a lot of ghost towns around that area from old silver strikes. I found out that in Unionville there was an old shack that Mark Twain used to live in. He even wrote about his time there in the book Roughing It. Marisa and I were excited to go see the Ghost Town where Mark Twain lived, the kids not as much.

 

The elements that made this a Butt Trip for the ages are legion.

  • A one hour drive across a vast featureless desert oasis.

  • If we had run out of gas the odds of death would have been around 65%.

  • A destination that no one in our family had heard of until the day before.

  • In addition, we didn’t know for sure if we would even find Mark Twain’s house.

  • Car sick children.

  • Dirt roads full of potholes.

  • Weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

 

The part of this trip that made it a guaranteed butt trip success was that we drove around two

 

hours to look at an old, broken down shack that we didn’t know existed a week earlier. We might also have found an outhouse that was graced by Samuel Clemens buttocks. Marisa and I felt that we had finally found something that had been missing in our lives, and we didn’t know it until we saw this ramshackle hut.

 

This butt trip scored a 63 out of 67. The drive there and back took 8 times as long as the time that we actually spent at the location. The destination was a run down shack that is ready to tip over. Mark Twain still went by Samuel Clemens when he lived there. Marisa and I were thrilled to see it and our children were besides themselves that their parents are so insane. This will be the standard that all future butt trips are measured with.